Dave Brown to Return, Fulfill Prophecy.

  Dave Brown carefully caressing Tennessee back to clear skies in the late 80s

Dave Brown carefully caressing Tennessee back to clear skies in the late 80s

“He was just there, sitting on a stone throne, wearing a crown. He had this really long grey beard and a sword” explained long-time Memphian Allen Edgarsinsky (58), in the parking lot of the Cash Saver at the corner of Madison and Avalon. “I believe it was a long sword, maybe a claymore.” 

“I asked him where the Gotta Get Up To Get Down was and he told me ‘my time had not yet come yet’ and said something about birds circling the Bass Pro Pyramid. It was strange, but not that strange for Midtown now that I think about it.” Edgarsinsky eventually found the coffee stout he was looking for.

Mary Longbooths also reported the sighting Wednesday night. “I thought some of those darn comedians from down the street were doing one of their skits. I had no idea it was really him. I would have asked for his autograph.”

Edgarsinsky and Longbooths are of course talking about WMC-TV Chief Meteorologist Emeritus Dave Brown, who retired from active manning of the weather in 2015 after a 53 year career in broadcasting, including time as the greatest wrestling commentator ever. But even approaching the stately age of 70, it did not take long for the hope of a return to take hold of the thousands of diehard fans Brown had earned over the years. 

Craig Dyson of Bartlett is one such fan. “I remember watching him every day with my dad. It was hard to see him go, but I remember my dad telling me that someday, like if there is a particularly bad cold front coming through and we’re going to have another Ice Storm like in ‘94, he’d come back.” 

Dyson’s story alludes to Jeff Monmouth’s “Historia Meteorum Memphis” in which it is said that in Memphis weather’s darkest hour, Dave Brown would return from his place of resting with his Weathermen of the Round Table to save the city from dire Five Day Forecasts. “There have been dozens of versions of the story since Monmouth’s work.” says Phillip Hess, Professor of Meteorological Mythology at the University of Memphis. “Some accounts say that it’ll be a tornado that will bring him back. Some say that it’ll be an Earthquake, which isn’t even a meteorological occurrence. I’ve even heard some say that it’ll be the end of the world that will cause his return, or something worse, like 3 inches of snow.”

“The legend is important.” noted Hess. “He’s a symbol of hope, and it’s a comfort to Memphians in their daily life that there is someone looking out for them.” When asked whether or not he thought this was a sign that the legend would soon be fulfilled, Hess responded with “Hell yeah! He’s the once and future meteorologist. He’s coming back, and he’s bringing Lance Russell too!”

Lance Russell, according to reports, is either spending his retirement making appearances at wrestling events, or has been trapped in a cave by dark magic.

Benny Elbows is a Stand-up Comedian. He runs Blacksmith Comedy , is an improviser with The Wiseguys, and you can follow him on twitter and medium @bennyelbows.

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