Ariel Butler (26), a young vegetarian living in the heart of Cooper Young, incited whispers at a local Superbowl party last Sunday when she was seen eating chicken dip straight from the serving bowl. Friends who knew of her condition rushed to warn her, but later realized, when talking amongst themselves, that all three had told her about the dip contents on separate occasions.
When approached for comment, Ariel explained, “At first because of the consistency I honestly couldn’t tell if it was chicken or tofu. I didn’t want to bother anyone.” This was just yet another example of Ariel pretending to be selfless when really she was just straight-up lying, sources confirmed.
“She said what?” Fellow party goer and judgemental vegetarian, Bernissa Wilson (28), was the third partygoer to notice what Ariel was eating. After trying and failing to stop her, she seemed visibly disgusted by the incident. “Chicken and tofu aren’t even the same consistency. Whatever. She did the same thing at Rose’s baby shower with the green beans and bacon. Ariel’s my friend and obviously I think she’s great, but yeah, she’s kind of a hypocrite.” Tori Lewis (25), long-term friend, had this to say: “Ariel is literally always telling people she’s a vegetarian. She’s always asking waiters if there’s chicken broth in the sauce. It’s kind of ridiculous
because other times if you tell her there’s chicken broth in something she’ll say ‘oh, you’re thinking of vegan.’
With her face caked in cheese, Ariel finally put everyone’s minds at ease by implying Rose doesn’t know how to make a dip with a good chicken-to-cheese ratio, “Don’t worry, everyone must have already eaten the chicken out. It was only on the first piece I ate.”
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