‘Nashville Residents want Memphis to be capital of Tennessee’ says Memphis city poll

The Memphis cityscape looks breathtaking at night because the darkness obscures the crime.

The Memphis cityscape looks breathtaking at night because the darkness obscures the crime.

A surprising new straw poll conducted over the weekend suggests 7 out of 10 residents of Nashville would be open to changing the capital of Tennessee to the city of Memphis, according to 7 out of 10 Memphis residents.

The poll, conducted by surveying 500 Memphis residents about what Nashvillians think about their city’s status as the state’s capital, found that 70% of Nashville residents would be open to relocating the capital from Nashville to Memphis. 70% of Memphis residents found this to be the most accurate proportion.

“I mean, I don’t completely understand why the capital is Nashville in the first place,” says Nashville resident, Tony Nashville, a hypothetical man invented by surveyed Memphian Lawrence Davis. “Nashville is great and all, but I mean Memphis has so much going for it, y’know? It's green and beautiful and it's got such an active live music scene. I mean, it's where music history was made, whole museum there are dedicated to the most famous musicians the world over.”

“Could you say the same thing about Nashville?” said the Nashvillian figment of the Memphian’s imagination.

"I mean, I love living in Nashville, but Memphis has the zoo, a ton of museums, it's got amazing, delicious barbecue everywhere. Does Nashville have any of those things?" argued Nashville resident Nash Ville, a man who only exists in the dreamscape of Memphian Sheila Klein.

"Seriously, does Nashville have any of those things? I've never been there." Klein concluded, abandoning her impression of what she assumes a Nashville resident sounds like,

While 70% of Nashville residents either 'agree' (5%) or 'strongly agree' (65%) to moving the capital of Tennessee to Memphis, according to this poll of Memphians, 30% fall into the neutral camp.

30% of Memphians responded "Wait, isn't Memphis already the capital? Is this a trick question? We have a capital building, right? That movie theater?"

Nashville has yet to respond to this poll, but Nashville city officials, are already preparing legislation to enact real change in response to the findings of this poll, according to Memphis city officials.

Wes Corwin is a Dallas Comic and occasional contributor to cracked.  Follow him on twitter @WestCornfield

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